Six thousand two hundred and counting

Today my wife and I are celebrating 17 years of marriage.  Yes, that is six thousand two hundred and five days of holy matrimony.

We all have our image of what a perfect relationship is and I'm fortunate to be living in mine.  I have a woman who shares my faith, is devoted to being a great mom to our children and understands me like no other.

No matter the challenges that life throws at me, in the end it is all about relationships.  I wouldn't trade this one for anything.
Happy Anniversary my dear.

Little Red Wagon and the Car Guy

Some people are just born car guys (or girls).  I know, because I am one.  No silly, not the androgynous guy/girl.  Car guy.

From an early age I can remember my fascination with cars.  In elementary school, the teachers would send us to the library for free reading time.  Or maybe that was free teacher time?  Not sure, but I do vividly recall making my way to the section with cars every single time.

Among the books was one that included the Dodge "Little Red Wagon" that debuted in 1965.  It was touted as the world's fastest truck but the real claim to fame was the ability to do massive wheel stands.  We called it 'cat walking' as we performed the feat on our bikes, but thinking that lingo has faded like an old Webco (think 70's bmx bike here people) I have adopted the term wheel stand as it better applies to the auto world.

I do believe I completely wore out the bindings of that book as I went back to it every time we were sent to the library.  Needless to say, the passion for cars has only grown stronger.

Over the course of my years I have owned many different vehicles.  In fact there was point where I had owned more than 15 different cars over a period of only 10 years.  Luxury (or Hoopty as my friends aptly named), lifted trucks, SUVs, European sports cars and muscle cars to categorize a few.

My all time favorite would have to be muscle cars and one in particular.  The Camaro.  I've owned some very nice ones including a couple of first gen '67s, a fun beater '79 and then most recently a fourth gen 2000 SS. 

There are many stories to choose from about my muscle car exploits but this one will focus on the 2000 Camaro SS.

I bought the SS with the purpose of it being a fun daily driver.  Since I knew a little about making cars fast the transformation didn't take long.  I quickly learned that the advent of the LS1 engine offered the ability to really make some big power.  As I now tell friends, "I can make your car extremely fast and unreliable", and I speak from firsthand experience.

It started with a few minor bolt-on pieces that would make the car a more spirited driver.  This became quite prevalent as once while taking my wife out we handed the keys to the valet only to have him light the tires up under the porte cochere and result in me letting out some well laced adjectives.

I then started frequenting the drag strip as I had done years earlier.  Only this time I decided to enter my first organized race by paying the fee to join the bracket race event.  I ended up making it all the way to the finals and collecting a fist full of dollars.

Next time comes the story of how the Drive takes on a whole new level of car guy.

Of Stick and stones

Self portrait of my youth

I was always a skinny kid.  I'm not talking about a little slight.  But the kind of skinny that you could actually see my heart beat creating a little repeated bump between my fully exposed ribs. And who could forget being at the doctor's office when I was young and hearing the doctor ask my mom "Does he eat"?

During elementary school all the boys were signing up for Pee Wee football.  I loved sports and thought that would be fun only to find out that there was a minimum weight requirement that I didn't come close to.

So it was flag football for me.  And what do you know the first thing our coach decided to do was don me with the nickname 'Stick'.  Great.  Even considered skinny for, is it - pre-pee wee league?  Or is that pee-pee wee?

Fast forward to high school.  At just over 5'10" I graduated at 18 yrs old tipping the scales at mere 118 lbs.  When I went into the field of construction I decided to make up for size with attitude.  Maybe it was just my fear that the weak were eaten, although I'd hardly make a decent snack.  Around this time I did have a brief stint with weight training that my body reacted quickly to.  Or it was the combination of that and just stuffing an extra sandwich down the gullet.

However, that ended being a short lived affair as my desire to hang loose and enjoy the spoils of youth overcame the need to change my appearance.  Then after a few hard years of living I had an epiphany.  At the age of 25 I was blessed with a new found self realization.  I was jerk.  Remember those construction years of playing the attitude card?  Well it turns out that was something I had been doing my whole life.  Only now, it grew to ridiculous proportions.

I spent the better part of the next year cursing myself at every turn as I was aware of my actions but they weren't changing.  So I employed the OCD to make a change.  I focused on trying to better control my actions, reactions and attitude.  At that time I decided to take another shot at that weight lifting thing and see if I can't gain something from it.

It turns out, the OCDrive did have some very good benefits.  I put so much focus and determination into working out and eating that results were bound to happen both in the gym and in my personal life.  The arrogance was gone as was the short fused temper.  I now was much more happy with the man I was becoming.  Say goodbye to the jerk and hello to me 2.0.

With a strict lifting regimen for the next 9 years I was able to make a transformation.  I went from 128 at the start to topping out at 207 lbs.  I even enjoyed the spoils of victory a few times by winning some power lifting competitions.

Let's not glaze over the OCD of my lifting focus and pick out a few highlights of things I did during my peak lifting.
-  Counting calories including at one point consuming over 6,000 calories a day
-  Opting for some oatmeal and protein shakes instead of the cake at the work party in my honor
-  Bowing out of any invitation that would conflict with my lifting schedule
     (My ongoing joke was, Sorry I'm going to have to miss the funeral because it's leg day)
-  Going into a mental zone during a lift that could increase your strength beyond what should have been possible
-  Pushing a leg workout until I puked.  To which my lifting partner says "You ain't a man if you don't get back in here and finish these squats"
-  Always seeing the skinny kid in the mirror.  This is an instance were I became a big fan of negative reinforcement to always push myself harder.  A bit twisted I know but it worked for me.

I'm taking a little different approach now with the weights.  After a fews years of just going through some maintenance lifting I now have shifted into another gear.  I don't carry the full size I once had but I'm finally ok with that.  I now lift again like my life depends on it, but I'm working on some different goals.  I have combined my lifting by following it with an extreme cardio program immediately after known as Crossfit.  I had some experience with Crossfit about a year ago but now have determined that combining that programming with my core lifts suits me better.

So at the cusp of turning 44, the new target isn't trying to get big enough to warrant my own zip code.  Now I'm going to search for a little hint of that lean kid (funny how that sounds nothing like skinny) by trying to hit a really low body fat percentage without losing size.  This is going to be a mental challenge after almost 20 years of trying to make the scale read heavier.

I've been utilizing this program for just over a month now and below is my reference point as of February 21st.  I'm targeting another 8 weeks to try and make my goal.  I'll post an update as long as it doesn't interfere with my leg day.

Who's that girl...

England 1973

...running around with you?

Whoever said, Behind every great man is a great woman surely must have had clear vision.

Many times growing up I had the little nudges of encouragement from my parents with snippets like - eat your vegetables, clean your room and put that down or you'll go blind.  Um, that last one might not have been my parents.

One that made sense to me many years later was the notion of - careful how you pick your friends as they are a reflection of you.  Well did I get lucky and fall into a good thing with this pick.

Many, many years ago I was not the same guy.  Sure the OCD existed, but the focus was let's say, a little less healthy.  I'm sure most of us can relate.

I was the guy your mother warned you about.  OK, maybe that's a little bit of a stretch, but as my wife tells me it was the bad boy attitude that was part of the fun attraction.   Of course "we" would have to change that later.

I met my wife at her place of employment that conveniently happened to be where I went to deposit my earnings in a hope to offset my ridiculous spending habits.  Yep, a bank.  Here was the cutest little girl behind the counter that had the most warm, inviting and pure personality that you felt like you knew her for years.  And did I mention that her middle name might as well have been fahrenheit... hot was an understatement.

But alas, my focus was distorted and felt I wasn't ready for anything but another party.  Or perhaps, God decided let this boy ripen a bit more before he is harvested.  If sewing wild oats were to give out awards I would have had a red carpet in front of me.

So for the next 2 years this cute banker and I would continue to be friends.  And then it happened.  My moment of clarity.  You're thinking this is the part of the story where I got smart and discovered what was in front of me, right?  Bingo.

So smarter, newer-er, me would just approach my cute banker girl and say 'now it's time' and all would be right in the world.  What's that?  What is this boyfriend you speak of?  Oh that was just another small grain of sand in the hour glass that would only delay the inevitable.  Finding true love.

So here we are in the now with 17 years of perfect marriage.  And in all of this, where is the OCD and to what fun does it play with our story?  I obsess over doing everything possible to make my wife happy.  Oh it sounds nice and for the most part it really is.  But of course there is a downside.  Let her not feel well or have a problem I can't solve and then I start to come unglued.  I'm working on that.

Julie - you make me want to be a better man.

And now for something completely different

Photo courtesy of Monty Python

I have come to terms with my own high level OCD.  This is not the debilitation version of a disorder but quite the polar opposite.  This is what I like to refer to as Obsessive Committed Drive.

Is it a disease? Are there meds that will keep it in check?  Or Lord help us, is it contagious? The answer is no.  To what part, you'll have to decide.

Let's start with the basics.  I obsess.  Yep.  Not only do I admit it, I embrace it.  But before we dive to far into the realm of my world let's take a step back.

OCD is defined in medical terms with the following; Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).

There are a couple of operative words there that I'd like to draw your attention to.  Anxiety, disorder and the reference to actions or thoughts that are unwanted.  The train that I'm riding carries none of that baggage.  I see my drive as a gift.

If I had to provide some brief, less than medical jargon narrative of what motivates my actions it would read something like this. Obsessive Committed Drive is the extreme motivation to improve, simplify, learn or succeed.  It can apply to relationships, simple or complex tasks, work and play.

Anyone who is close to me will already have a firm understanding of what I am trying to describe. For the rest of the world, I will open up a little and give you some insight into the mind of my OCD by sharing some exploits, history and basic ramblings.  You might want to buckle up.