Of Stick and stones

Self portrait of my youth

I was always a skinny kid.  I'm not talking about a little slight.  But the kind of skinny that you could actually see my heart beat creating a little repeated bump between my fully exposed ribs. And who could forget being at the doctor's office when I was young and hearing the doctor ask my mom "Does he eat"?

During elementary school all the boys were signing up for Pee Wee football.  I loved sports and thought that would be fun only to find out that there was a minimum weight requirement that I didn't come close to.

So it was flag football for me.  And what do you know the first thing our coach decided to do was don me with the nickname 'Stick'.  Great.  Even considered skinny for, is it - pre-pee wee league?  Or is that pee-pee wee?

Fast forward to high school.  At just over 5'10" I graduated at 18 yrs old tipping the scales at mere 118 lbs.  When I went into the field of construction I decided to make up for size with attitude.  Maybe it was just my fear that the weak were eaten, although I'd hardly make a decent snack.  Around this time I did have a brief stint with weight training that my body reacted quickly to.  Or it was the combination of that and just stuffing an extra sandwich down the gullet.

However, that ended being a short lived affair as my desire to hang loose and enjoy the spoils of youth overcame the need to change my appearance.  Then after a few hard years of living I had an epiphany.  At the age of 25 I was blessed with a new found self realization.  I was jerk.  Remember those construction years of playing the attitude card?  Well it turns out that was something I had been doing my whole life.  Only now, it grew to ridiculous proportions.

I spent the better part of the next year cursing myself at every turn as I was aware of my actions but they weren't changing.  So I employed the OCD to make a change.  I focused on trying to better control my actions, reactions and attitude.  At that time I decided to take another shot at that weight lifting thing and see if I can't gain something from it.

It turns out, the OCDrive did have some very good benefits.  I put so much focus and determination into working out and eating that results were bound to happen both in the gym and in my personal life.  The arrogance was gone as was the short fused temper.  I now was much more happy with the man I was becoming.  Say goodbye to the jerk and hello to me 2.0.

With a strict lifting regimen for the next 9 years I was able to make a transformation.  I went from 128 at the start to topping out at 207 lbs.  I even enjoyed the spoils of victory a few times by winning some power lifting competitions.

Let's not glaze over the OCD of my lifting focus and pick out a few highlights of things I did during my peak lifting.
-  Counting calories including at one point consuming over 6,000 calories a day
-  Opting for some oatmeal and protein shakes instead of the cake at the work party in my honor
-  Bowing out of any invitation that would conflict with my lifting schedule
     (My ongoing joke was, Sorry I'm going to have to miss the funeral because it's leg day)
-  Going into a mental zone during a lift that could increase your strength beyond what should have been possible
-  Pushing a leg workout until I puked.  To which my lifting partner says "You ain't a man if you don't get back in here and finish these squats"
-  Always seeing the skinny kid in the mirror.  This is an instance were I became a big fan of negative reinforcement to always push myself harder.  A bit twisted I know but it worked for me.

I'm taking a little different approach now with the weights.  After a fews years of just going through some maintenance lifting I now have shifted into another gear.  I don't carry the full size I once had but I'm finally ok with that.  I now lift again like my life depends on it, but I'm working on some different goals.  I have combined my lifting by following it with an extreme cardio program immediately after known as Crossfit.  I had some experience with Crossfit about a year ago but now have determined that combining that programming with my core lifts suits me better.

So at the cusp of turning 44, the new target isn't trying to get big enough to warrant my own zip code.  Now I'm going to search for a little hint of that lean kid (funny how that sounds nothing like skinny) by trying to hit a really low body fat percentage without losing size.  This is going to be a mental challenge after almost 20 years of trying to make the scale read heavier.

I've been utilizing this program for just over a month now and below is my reference point as of February 21st.  I'm targeting another 8 weeks to try and make my goal.  I'll post an update as long as it doesn't interfere with my leg day.